The Manipulator

Don’t you just love meeting one of these creatures? The manipulators, a breed that has only increased over the years. The only thing they are good at is fucking with your head and making you feel like absolute shit about yourself. Its not just me going through it with Al but my friends and sister too. They all have their own versions. Let me tell you guys some of the stories.

  1. My sister had met this guy named Steve. Now Steve has been stringing her along for seven months. They met at work, at first there was nothing really wrong with him. He was your average guy, so she thought. It started with making plans and him always cancelling them. When my sister had enough, he would sweet talk his way back in, making up some dumb excuse and making her feel bad. His argument was that he was too afraid to commit again because of his last relationship. Now seven months down the road I asked her what she was still doing holding on to this guy. My sister told me that he had finally said that he was ready to start dating her (how convenient). Right after he said that he did not talk to her for a week. A week goes by and I get a phone call from her. She was bawling her eyes out because Steve, the grown 40 years old man had posted a picture of him out on a date with another girl. She finally decided to block him, good for her because for the most of us that is hard to do.
  2. My best friend is the second story, now our friendship goes way back to high school. Her and I are the exact same person and seeing her and my sister go through this or anyone that I know or don’t know for that matter kills me. Hers is named Will. Will is a nurse that works at the same hospital as her. He was everything she was looking for (on paper). When they met it was amazing, she was so happy. He was a bit older than her but not by much. Just enough to have her thinking that he was mature (HA what a joke). He took her out to dinner to meet his friends, they would talk for hours, hangout and he even cooked her dinner at his place. After a few months she started developing feelings for this guy. Its like guys can sense when feelings become involved because right after that he told her he did not want anything serious. WHY are they never upfront with their intentions, seriously.  He had gotten out of a six years relationship and he thought it was his fault. My friend is a caring person so she tried to understand despite how hurt she was. Again this goes on for months.  She would ask to see him, he would barely ask her. I know what you’re all thinking but we have all been there. We think we can change them and we suffer. To make a long story short the last time they hung out they had a conversation. A long conversation that if I were her I would have killed him for having it with me. This guy had the nerves to look at her and tell her about all the girls he had slept with after her and that he had been talking to his ex again. WHO DOES THAT? She is still trying to get over him right now, she hasn’t looked at his social media or anything.
  3. This is a short one, my college friend. She went through a bad breakup and closed herself off to men. She met this one guy, David. She called me as soon as the night ended to tell me all about this guy and how she actually felt something again. They hung out and talked but right off the bat I could tell he really only wanted one thing. I did warn her not too but come on now would you listen? Probably not. So she made that mistake and the guy had talked to her for another week until he just stopped answering her messages. She was trying not to panic, she kept texting him and I could see her hurting. She let her guard down and this guy turned out to be another jerk.  He wouldn’t answer her but I guess his Snapchat score kept going up from what she told me. I saw her today, she told me she’s been crying non stop over this guy who kept making her all these promises. Again words are just words, we should all get that tattooed on us.
  4. Me, well guys I am just as much of a mess. My fantasy with Al had been slowly hurting me but this last week it actually did. I knew what my stupid self was doing seeing a guy who had told me he wanted me as well as other people after two months of us acting like we were dating (Read previous blogs for updates). He called me the other night. He was drunk and needed a ride, me being me I go and get him. He is drunk so you know how sweet they can get. At this point I thought I was numb to the pain and was slowly getting used to the idea that I was never gonna be enough for him. We get to his house and the words, the words he said just fogged my brain. Telling me that if I wasn’t in his life he would be hurt blah blah. I lost my pride and self respect that night. The next morning was what killed me. He took a phone call and was telling his friend how he went to the hotel hoping this one girl was there and he realized that I was right there so he tells his friend that he would tell him later. There I was the moron who picked him up from toga at 1 a.m, when he was also trying to get with someone else. I was convenient to him, literally was an option. Talk about slap in the face, why don’t you kick me in the crotch and spit in my face while were at it. I am way too nice to people who are not deserving. I knew he would be trying to go with other people but for some reason I did not want to believe it. I was holding on to what I thought was him instead of the reality of him. The ironic part is he kept telling me to stop thinking that he was an asshole….okayyyy.

I wanted to hurt him so bad, the same way he hurt me for months but I couldn’t. The pain I felt in my chest all day, the countless times that I had to swallow my tears but I couldn’t so I cried to my friends and my mom who wanted to murder him by the way. My mom did make me feel a bit better though. She said: “he is the one who is going to lose because to pass up a girl as amazing as you, is a big loss. He will never meet another one like you.” Honestly whenever I am upset she is the first person I go too. These guys, I don’t even know anymore. I have no words for them, just a lot of disappointment. I honestly partially blame some girls for allowing these guys to have that behavior (including me). We should not be treated that way or let someone treat us that way. It makes it look like its okay when its not. Why be so upset over someone you never really had? That is honestly something I am trying to figure out. Maybe its because we hold on to good memories and the what if ‘s that we ignore all the red flags. Seriously I tend to go for the opposite of what I need and even if I don’t I chose to ignore red flags when I shouldn’t. Right now I’m hurting, I’m not going to lie. I don’t even know what to think or do with myself but I keep pushing because I have been through worse. Letting go is something that I am terrible at doing, seriously it is so hard but I have to no matter how many sweet words the man speaks. The first step is erasing him from my life for good and that right there is the hard to do. The second is I really need to learn to respect myself and work on myself.  In fact I do have some pretty big changes coming up but I will tell you guys about it in another blog.

4 thoughts on “The Manipulator

  1. This blog took so much courage to write. You are a strong woman, and in your words the passion you have proves just that. It’s hard to let go, probably one of the hardest things a person can do. The advice I would give is don’t be so hard on yourself, the mistakes you noticed you made try not to make them again in the future. That’s what I’m trying and it’s working. What helps also is binge watch Greys Anatomy idk why but it seems to help. When we have been knocked down for so long we want to see all we are doing wrong, it’s not us 99% of the time. Guys that seem too perfect are the worst ones!!!! Ask them up front are they looking for something serious or just a fling!!! Biggest thing you can also watch for is body language. This guys sound like an ass!!!! And you have so much passion and love in you one day someone will come along and give you all you need. Ive determined these men are just ruined bc of being hurt in their past, it makes them scared and they take it out on us. I’ve been with my guy for almost 8 years and he still has wondering eyes bc of social media. Let these men know what you expect and if they can’t then let them out of your life. I’m learning and studying on this right now and believe me you got this!!!! I’m preaching the same thing I’m going to do. We have to show men their is still good women who are worth more than one thing. If you ever need to talk I’m here. I don’t know you but I am a good listener and I give wonderful advice. God bless you and I pray your healing begins inside of your heart. Oh if you have an iPhone, not sure of androids but you can block his number that is a start!!!!! These type of men are narcissistic, manipulative pigs in my eyes!!!!!!

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