When he’s hooked on his ex

I was never in a situation where a guy was still hooked on his ex until I met the football player in college. I’m not too happy with him so he’ll remain the football player with no name. I have used guys for rebound before, let’s face it, we all have. But they ended up being guys I dated down the line which clearly was not a good idea since none of them worked out. I met this guy in one of my classes, I had a pretty big crush on him from day one.

One day I found him on Instagram because you know us girls and how great we are at undercover work. So I found him and asked him a question about class (which I knew the answer too but I needed to start the conversation). We talked and than we talked about our lives and how we we’re both from Europe which I thought was pretty cool. He messaged me a few days later and that was it besides the occasional smile in class. I was trying to flirt but he didn’t seem interested. I actually started worrying that he was gay or hiding something from me. The hiding part was correct.

After a while he FINALLY started flirting with me and talking to me more. I was over the moon about it! Until he told me his dirty little secret… ladies and gentlemen let me introduce you to …… the man who was still emotionally involved with his ex…… ( insert suspense sound effect). On a more serious note let me tell you guys some more background. I did not see this coming at all, he never mentioned her. There was no sign anywhere that she was even real or I would have never even thought of flirting ! So when he did start talking to me more he told me that he wanted to be honest with me. He told me about this girl he had been seeing since the summer and how they had been together for a while but they were never really exclusive. He also found out that she was sleeping with other guys and that she did not want to commit, so basically she hurt him. Yes, some women are assholes it’s not always men. I should have known better than to believe him when he said he was over it. Lying is such a simple thing now a days. It becomes natural to certain people.

So we kept talking. I had butterflies, I was excited to talk to him. My crush was showing interest in me. He was coming back from Europe and we were planning on seeing each other when he got back. We got to the last two weeks…. than I opened my mouth. I noticed this girl watching my stories on Instagram, I did not know her or even followed her… but he did. So I asked him who she was and all hell broke loose. The man became stressed, asking all these questions and being all weirded out. Ummmm okay did I miss something ? The girl was his ex whatever she was. So he was all paranoid thinking us seeing each other was a bad idea and than the truth came out. He admitted to still caring about her and we ended the conversation with him saying “this is weird, I’m going to bed,” and me saying “yup.” Yeah I’m pissed buddy, I was led on yet again.

I have dealt with a lot of scenarios when it comes to men but this was a first. I cried for a short period of time wondering why I kept meeting terrible people and getting hurt. The typical “why me” speech. I am still at a loss for words. I don’t even know how to feel. Should I feel bad for him? For me? For no one? I’m emotionally exhausted. Nothing good could come out of that situation so who even knows at this point. I felt used, completely used. I wanted to write an apology letter to every rebound guy in my life if I had ever made them feel that way. Which I don’t think I ever have because I’m a person that cares for other people’s feelings more than my own (terrible trait to have I know). If you guys have had a similar experience let me know it’s always good to know you’re not alone !

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