I started dating when I was 15 years old. At 15, I felt like a grown up even though I wasn’t at all. So last night I started thinking, what if the problem is that we start dating too soon? I mean by the time were 23 most of us will have dated a decent number of people and the chances are most of us were hurt by a lot of them. A lot of the guys that we dated were just dumb and immature, they had no idea what to look for in a girl. They had no idea that they were letting go of an amazing person and they wont until later down the road. The guys we dated were most likely infatuated with looks and the idea of having a girlfriend but the work wasn’t put in. This takes a tole on a lot of us because we get so fed up with dating and were still so young. Most guys are not mature at all until they are in their 30’s. Maybe late 20’s but the guys I know and have met are not even close to being mature. They still think about partying, getting drunk on the weekends and sleeping around.
It just changes your perspective on meeting someone and you start to believe that it wont happen for you, that this is as good as its going to get. Well it’s not. I really believe that there are decent MEN out there and for men there are decent WOMEN. You just have to find each other and be patient. Obviously dating people is not a bad thing because it’s how you figure out what you like and want but maybe not starting so young. I swear 15 year old’s now a days don’t even know what being a kid means. Everyone is so eager to grow up and talk to boys.
Love is supposed to be this amazing thing. I have read about it, I have seen it but I have never actually felt it ( being at peace, happy, nothing toxic, no walking away when it gets hard). I read so many comments from girls who were replaced, lied to, cheated on, hurt, manipulated. The list is endless. Girls begging for answers, trying to understand, waiting around, going back and blaming themselves. It breaks your heart, it definitely breaks mine. I have been through it. I understand that pain. I was strong enough to walk away, mainly because to me staying felt more impossible than leaving. I just don’t want any of you guys to settle, ever. Do not settle for anyone who is willing to stay. Do not settle, do not chase them, do not wait around. Love yourself unconditionally and just know that when its meant to happen, it will.
We have all been through this at some point. When all our friends are in happy relationships and there you are the next Bridget Jones. Now being single is not a bad thing at ALL. This is actually the first time that I have been single in a long time and it’s taking some getting used to. When you are single you actually have nothing to worry about at all but it does sometimes get a little lonely, like when you go out with your friends who all have boyfriends. I met my friend Jenna for dinner on Saturday night. She met this great guy, Tom who treats her so well and makes her so happy and of course I am happy for her but part of me could not help but wonder why I never met decent guys. I know you guys probably think I’m being dramatic but ask my friends, I have had some very controlling and toxic relationships. I have dated the nerdy guys, the muscular guys, what seemed like the nice guys and I always ended up hurt. I am not saying I’m losing hope but its hard to stay optimistic. So there I was listening to Jenna talk about how happy she is with Tom, and how much she loves him while I was eating a whole pizza by myself and pounding back cocktails.
An hour later we decided that we wanted to go to Dave and Busters. There is nothing I love more than arcade games. I was having fun, at that point I was tipsy and killing it at skee ball until we decide to go get more drinks. Jenna and I were sitting at a table when it happened….more of my cuffed friends came along. So again there I was downing my cocktail like it was water while listening to how great their boyfriends were, how amazing it is to live with them, and all these future plans they had. I didn’t think it could really get much worse at that point…. until it did. As they were making plans to go on these triple dates, one of them actually looked at me and said ” Em, how is your love life going, anyone special?” I wish you guys saw my face at that very moment… I looked at her and said ” Nope, I was dumped over text by my boyfriend of one year and I was recently shut down by a guy who may or may not have the peter pan syndrome.” I don’t know why I love making things awkward by telling people way more information than they probably wanted to know. At that very moment I got the exact reaction that I was expecting, silence followed by the awkward “oh” response but don’t worry she went right back to talking about her relationship.
Usually when your friends are finally tired out of talking about their boyfriends they turn their attention on the single friend, in this scenario its me. This is the part where they try to set me up. Jenna had this one friend named Joe. Joe was a dad, who was bald, lived on a ranch and worked at the post office. Now I did not except a Brad Pitt or young Johnny Depp look alike but come on. I know I should lower my standards but I dated guys who were in shape, guys who weren’t in shape at all, those went to college and those who did not go to college. Just once I would like someone that meets my standards, I don’t think I’m being selfish when I say this.
That was my Saturday night, have you ever been in a situation similar to mine? Let me know down in the comments or email me! See you next post.